I am a legendary poster; there I said it. A lot of people do not like it but those same people should learn to accept it. Boys at most online gaming forums people know me and like my mentor JJGold said, “I ain’t big time?” Since I see a lot of newbies posting everywhere, I wanted to share my forum posting tips. Now these are only tips but if you follow them you should become a hall of fame poster. Here we go and I will start out with the obvious:

1) Always be honest. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Don’t back down to veterans and don’t run around kissing moderator butt. Look at me; I usually go toe to toe with most forum moderators. Guys like Knuckles are scared of me. So called head moderators like Frankie won’t come near me. Make a name for yourself and make that name stick.

2) Never post lies. I will repeat… never post lies. If you cannot win an Internet battle, walk away like a man. Who cares if you are the leader of the retards, you’re still a retard. Don’t start and spread rumors like a 75 year old Jewish woman. Be a man or in some cases a woman and battle with pride.

3) Personal information is off limits. If you post, private message or e-mail another poster’s personal information you should be banned for life and have your personal information posted as well. People who pull stunts like this are low down scum. I’ve seen posters call into other poster’s jobs. That’s taking it too far; way too far. Now, there are some exceptions to this rule. If another poster scams or steals from you, post the information. Lastly, photos are off limits as well. Unless someone gives his/her permission in writing, outing them is not cool.

4) Post at the post not the poster. Simply stated if you don’t agree with a post, attack the post not the poster. Go after what is written not who wrote it. State your opinion and make sure you back it up with FACTS not bullcrap.

5) Never take posting seriously. Common sense however most people that hang out at online gambling forums are unstable. I’ve seen posters threaten to kill people. Posting is not serious business. Let me repeat, posting is NOT serious people. Take a walk, smell the flowers, talk to a real person and for the love of God get a life!

6) Always keep things light. If you notice in most of my posts, I nickname posters. There is Camper, Knucklehead, Frankie Numbers, Nessie and Gulfer. Most of my posts, even the ones about sports are light hearted and fun. Don’t take what you write seriously, I can tell you that I’m not. Oh and for the record I am straight as an arrow.

7) Have real friends, not e-friends. Actual people that you converse with in real life. I saw one guy brag about starting his day by having a Skype call with fellow posters. Okay Gordon Gecko I am sure those calls are pretty productive. Nerds talking to other nerds about not getting laid last night. Sounds cool to me bro.

8 ) Don’t tail posters without doing your research first. I don’t care if a guy is hot or not, do your homework before using your hard earned money to bet on sports. Read other forums and look at the statistics. Do not follow some dude because he won two in a row.

9) Act your age not your kid’s age. How many wannabe tough guys have you run into? Guys that think they know it all or can do it all. Grow up, it’s the Internet. Most of us are failed athletes anyway so losers like us need to stick together.

10) Last but not least, make sure you get something out of posting. If you find yourself ignoring your job or your family, give it up. Pretty soon you’ll be on your deathbed thinking how much time you’ve wasted.

Boys as always I am here to help. Follow my lead and you too will become a big time poster. Until next time gentlemen and remember… when you’re drinking do not drive and when you’re driving do not drink. Later.

Patrick L. Bateman  – American Pyscho part II.